Life never turns out like you expect...

If you were to ask me where I would be and what I would be doing in four months, four months ago I would have told you that I would be teaching FACS classes in a small school, living in my own apartment, and driving my own car. Well as you might have guessed I am not doing any of it. I am working at a grocery store making minimum wage, Living with my aunt (for which I am grateful), and driving a car my parents own. Don't get me wrong, I am still happy and upbeat, with my eyes on the future. There are still moments where I think to myself "What about me? When do I get all of those things? When will all of my dreams come true?" But then I remember that Heavenly Father has a plan for me. Its like in a talk given during Women's Conference by Sister Linda S. Reeves "The Lord has not forgotten you!" I know that Heavenly Father hasn't forgotten me and can see the bigger picture and knows what is in store for me, but it is just so hard to wait.

Today in Fast and testimony meeting I was really wanting to share my testimony on this but there is this thing called bravery that I really don't have when it comes to speaking in front of my peers so I didn't do it. But, this girl got up and pretty much said everything that I was going to say. I had the realization that we are all going through trials. They might not all be about the same thing but we are all fighting some kind of battle. This just happens to be my trial right now. A real trial of my faith. I say a trial of my faith because well there is the story. (if you get bored easy you can stop reading here)

This past spring I was an anxious collage graduate ready to conquer the world, get a job and start the next chapter of my life. I prayed about it asking Heavenly Father to send me to the right place and that I would be able to find the right place for me and then I went to work. I started applying for teaching jobs all over the place, watching the job listings on every school district in the state of Utah. Doing everything in my power to get a job. I interviewed all over the state and other states. Three in Salt lake, Tooele, Star Valley, Wendover, St. George, and other places. But to no avail. Every place the same story. I worked so hard and so long just to have everyone call back and say no... Mid way through all of this my prayers changed to what am I doing wrong? Please help me to know what to change. I started practicing for my interviews so that I would know what to say. I didn't give up. I figured that I had worked so hard and so long that not getting a job was not an option. 19 of my 24 years spent on my education were not going to waste. Well I kept trying and applying and then the first day of school came around and I didn't have a teaching job. I was starting to feel forgotten. All of my school friends kept popping up on face book saying "I got a teaching job!". With each one it was like a stab to my heart. What was I doing wrong? I would go to the interview and do so well all of my references checked out and I looked really good on paper. but I still didn't have a job.

Well that is the story up to about two weeks ago. Well at that point in time I had come to the conclusion that the problem was something that was not my fault. Well through the course of some interesting things I have found out that it could in fact be Not my fault. I now have new references awesome new references and letters of recommendations and the future looks BRIGHT! I am so excited for next year! I will get a job for sure.

Just remember everyone out there.

The Lord has not forgotten you! Everything will work out in the end.

Wow moment...

So just so people know (that is if anyone reads my blog) I have started student teaching at American Fork High School. I am teaching FACS classes. I have one Adult Roles class, one Foods 1 class, and two Interior Design 2 classes.
Student teaching has been a challenge! There have been hard days when I would love to just drive home to College Ward and cry to my mom but in reality there have been more good days than bad days.

I have learned so much!! I have learned probably more than my students could ever learn from me and I have learned about myself and I have learned about my teaching style.

I have had challenges. In my Foods 1 class I have a mid to high functioning autistic student. This student is really smart and understands what I teach and can contribute to class. He roams around the classroom when he gets frustrated and I can't have him roaming around. The other day he got mad at me and there was a point that I felt like I was going to get hit. He threw his binder on the floor and the contents flew everywhere and then he stomped away. In our SPED classes they teach us about disabilities and learning disabilities but they don't teach us how to deal with them so i didn't know what to do. his aid was no help. then he was mad at me for the rest of the class period and he refused to work then he was roaming around while i was cleaning up from my demo telling me how mad he was. (sigh) All I could do was acknowledge him and say "I know that you are mad but I need you to sit down and do your work." What do you do in that kind of situation? how do you deal with it?

That experience makes it sound like I don't enjoy what I do. Well actually I LOVE WHAT I DO! I love teaching. I love being in front of my class teaching. I love being with the students and learning from them. I love hearing their opinions and learning about them. I love being around them. I love being in their midst. I didn't like high school but I love being around these students and knowing all the things that I know from my own experiences. I am finally getting used to being called Ms. Atkin. though it is still a little weird. It finally sounds like music to my ears to hear "Ms. Atkin, can you help me with this?" I didn't used to like it but I do now.

Well today I had a breakthrough. A small one but nonetheless it was a breakthrough. I have had a hard time learning my students names because I have a hard time remembering things. Well today in Adult Roles I got some of my students to finally participate in the discussion that I was having with them. This is a big deal in this class because sometimes getting them to respond is like pulling teeth.  At the end of class I tried something new. I addressed a few of the students by name (the ones I could remember) and asked them what they thought and they responded so much better. WHO KNEW? who knew it was as simple as using their names that would get a better response. (sigh) It was definitely a Wow moment...

The Eve of 24

As I sit here on the Eve of my 24th birthday I am sitting alone in my house with nothing but quiet. I sit here contemplating what is to come in my life. The changes that 24 will bring, the places 24 will take me, the people I will meet at 24, and the things that I will do during my 24th year. At the same time I look back at 23. The changes, the places, and the people of my 23rd year and they seem pretty great to me.
OK I didn't really think that hard but to think of all the things that I have done with my life and to look forward to the future with hope and readiness is a great thing to do on the eve of a birthday.
This coming year I am facing new changes. I will be beginning my student teaching this coming semester. I will be moving to Provo to do my student teaching at American Fork High school. I will be graduating with my bachelors of science in Family and Consumer Science Education. I will be finding a job after all of this and moving on with my life. WOOOHOOOO!!!!!!! I am so excited.
I was thinking and I have decided that my comfort zone keeps being stretched to uncomfortable levels. I have created this world for myself that is safe and comfortable. Well to say that my world is staying the same would be a big fat juicy lie. But I am growing and that is all that matters, right? :)
Life is good and I am happy with it.
Here's to another great year. Happy 24th to myself!

And Hes off!!

And he is off!!! Its crazy to think that Willie actually left on his mission this week. I am so proud of him. he will be in the MTC for 3 weeks and then he will be off to the Tulsa Oklahoma mission.
I miss him already so much. I was telling a brother in-law today that there is this certain special spirit/presence that surrounds Willie where ever he goes and you can feel it when you are around him. Well that is the biggest thing that I miss about him being gone. I miss his voice. His smell (he always smelled good). His laugh. I really miss his hugs the most. I know that it has only been 4 days but I am allowed to miss him right?
Anyway I know that things will be easier to handle as time goes by. When he left he told me that when ever I miss him I can go and climb in his bed. I think that I am going to take him up on it.
When we dropped him off he left and didn't even look back. I am so proud of him. I can't even express how proud I am. Willie is one of my heroes and he always will be. I love him so much.
April will be leaving on September 28 to the Independence, Missouri Mission. So we will have two missionaries in the family. I think that it is really cool that their missions actually boarder each other. I have been joking around saying that we can't keep the two of them apart so of course they have to serve missions by each other/the chother. I am so excited for my siblings to be on missions. I can't help it but to be a little bit jealous. I feel that I can learn ways to share the gospel right along with them while they are gone. Well thats all for now.
Love,
Rachel

Family/ Christmas

Hey everyone this is me playing catchup.
This past christmas the whole family was home and it was fantastic I was sick the whole time but i tried to have as much fun as possible. :) Here is a bunch of pictures to show the happenings.

















Thats all!

Catching Up

Oh my goodness it has already been a month since I wrote anything.
Just to update you on my life.......ummmmm its not that exciting and it is the same as it has always been.
This semester has been kinda boring so far. All of my classes are secondary ed classes so they are not that interesting. so basically they are teaching me how to be a teacher and how to run a classroom and such. Like "this is how you write on a chalk board, this is how you make a powerpoint" blah blah blah this is how you make sure that you wont be sued. this is what you do if your students fling poo across the room... ok they haven't taught me that but it would be cool if they did it would be a lot more interesting if they did. :)
As far as everything outside of school it is pretty much the same. I guess there isn't much that goes on outside of school because all that I do is school. Ugggg..... at least I have an awesome friend to hang out with everyday. :)
I am pretty much never home but when I am it is kind of weird. This year I am the only kid at home but its kind of fun. The parents are always checking up on me seeing what I am doing. At first it bugged me but now its awesome because they REALLY CARE!!!
Oh something new is happening in the life of Rachel. She is doing something new that she has never done before. She tried out for and made it in a play with lots of speaking parts. Its kinda scary but I think that I can handle it. :) A girl in my singles ward wrote a murder mystery/comedy and decided to have us do it. I play the part of a girl named Ginna (pronounced Geena) she is a kind loving nurturing type. yes I think that I got this part because it matches me to a tee. I am kinda freaking out because I have a really hard time memorizing things and I have 48 LINES yes i did count them so there... :) I am kinda scared and stuff but I think that I can handle it.
well that is all that I can think of for now. :)

I must be growing up or something.....

So this year has brought me many new experiences and opportunities to try new things.

Everyone knows that I am a good eater and will eat almost everything that you give me. Well most everyone knows that I have never been a huge fan of raw Tomatoes.... At first I thought that it was just a texture thing(because i am very sensitive to texture) but in the end it really was the flavor. Well this is a confession that I need to make.... I LIKE TOMATOES FOR REAL NOW!!! I don't know why I like them but I do. Don't get me wrong it isn't like I will eat them plain but I am experimenting new ways of eating them so that the texture doesn't get me, I really like the flavor. I learned from Amy that Grape tomatoes are actually really good and full of flavors. Dad has converted me to tuna tomato sandwiches. I tried them on my burger tonight and I liked it. I will eat them if they are on a sandwich. I really must be growing up or something. There I got it out of my system... I LIKE TOMATOES!! just not as much as the rest of the world.


Something else that I have decided means that I am growing up is that I can survive without my medicine. I have come to the point in my life where I have decided that my ADD is a part of me but it does not define me. I have Not taken my medicine for almost 4 months. CAN YOU BELIEVE IT!!!!! I submit that I can not believe it. I am to the point in my life when I need to be in control and make my own decisions. So I have decided that at this point in my life that I don't need my Medicine. I am free. For now at least. One of my great fears is that I will have to start taking it again because of school. I have awesome support from my family and my friends that I can pay attention one of my awesome friends texted me this:
"Good luck with your classes. I wish you the best. I know that you can pay attention."
Thank you Friend!!!! With Confidence like that from others I can do anything. Some people see me as this loud happy confident person that can do anything but I must admit that I am really not. I am in need of confident friends and family to help me out. I know that I can do anything. The part that I feel more grown up is how I Can pay attention for an hour class and I Can sit still and not withdraw from the class into my own little world. I am proud of me!!!!!
So The moral to the story is that I can GROW UP and eat tomatoes and pay attention.
THE END....